This part of Canada, like a lot of parts of Canada, is beautiful. People come from all over the world to visit because of its beauty. I love this part of Canada. Sometimes the beauty is almost indescribable. Two days ago we had a freezing rain storm. To people who don’t live in this climate it’s a difficult one to describe. It’s a rain that freezes as soon as it makes contact with something. Where we live it’s the most dangerous type of precipitation. The ice virtually congeals around the twigs and branches of trees sometimes so much that it will bring the tree down, often onto power lines cutting out electricity. We get a ton of snow here most years in the Gatineau Hills but that inconvenience is nothing compared to freezing rain. When we were commuting to work in the city and there was a freezing rain storm it meant that we weren’t making it to work that day. Just walking to the end of the driveway and remaining on your feet is a Cirque du Soleilian effort so forget about driving. But the point is that notwithstanding all of that, freezing rain can cover nature in diamonds. It takes this beautiful place and puts jewellery on it.
You need to do stuff outside in order to get through a Canadian winter. We have a vast series of cross-country ski and snow-shoe trails about 15 minutes away that we try to utilize a couple times a week. There’s a decent ski hill about an hour away that I get to a number of times a season. Sometimes usually later in the season, after there’s been a thaw or rain and then a flash freeze the lake can be transformed into the most amazing skating rink. And we walk the roads a lot also in an effort to embrace it.
Canada’s a cold place. Today’s the 24th of February. In a lot of places with four seasons people are beginning to see Spring manifesting. This morning when I got up it was minus 20 C/-4 F. I have the furnace, the fireplace and the wood stove all active this morning. I’m booked on a week long ski trip to the Quebec City area on March 21 and the conditions will still be excellent. Winter is really long here. I don’t delude myself any longer. By my educated estimate what I affectionately refer to as the shit season starts on November 01 and subsides no earlier than April 15. That’s six and a half months of shit.
I’m four and three-quarter months through my last Canadian winter. I hereby make the following covenant in writing: We will be somewhere else between November 01/22 and April 15/23. The only way that we will not be somewhere else this November will be indicative of my tragic demise. Unfortunately this is a distinct possibility for a couple of reasons. First, there are a lot of miles on this sixty-one year old frame and second, ol’Vlad has officially invaded Ukraine today so there’s a chance there won’t be anywhere left to go.
Suzanne and I have spent the last couple of months scheming where we will end up. I should note that we would already be somewhere else if weren’t for a couple of reasons. Reason number one is that on November 30, 2021 the Trudeau government, based on the science, made it mandatory for the safety of all people in Canada to be vaccinated before boarding an airplane. If there’s another country in the world that has this mandate I have been unable to find it. We’re so lucky to live in a land that listens to the science. As it was pretty clear at that the time of this announcement that vaccinated people could transmit the virus and that the person crammed into the seat beside you could be an unvaccinated international traveller transiting through Canada who chances are may not have needed to be tested, maybe it wasn’t really based on actual science. As this plan was announced during the ($630M) 2021 election campaign and wasn’t enacted until two months after the Liberals “won” (gaining three seats more that the 2019 election), maybe it was based more on the science of headlines and public opinion. Oh reason number two you ask? Suzanne is not vaccinated.
So one of the main reasons I want to spend less time here other than the severe Canadian climate should be somewhat obvious. It’s because of parenthesis usage. Do you see them up there in that paragraph above? Politics and me are no longer good bedfellows. Politics and social media actually. Politics, social media and other people’s opinions really. Okay, okay - politics, social media, other people’s opinions, media, mass consumption and consumerism, ecological unsustainability, religion and the concept of free will along my own inherent contradictions are no longer good bedfellows and I think moving to the Andes with a continuing regimen of psychoanalysis and maybe the odd ayahuasca journey will be beneficial.
I guess I blew the punchline huh? The punchline is Ecuador. Why Ecuador you say? Let me tell ya. We had a few criteria that needed to be met. We needed to find a place that was temperate. Not too hot and definitely not cold. We plan on being out of Canada a little longer than the average snowbird, possibly up to nine months of the year. There had to be great diversity. Culture shock is the best. It had to be affordable and allow us to maintain a certain lifestyle. It had to have a sound infrastructure as I’m old - Suzanne is ageless but I’m old. It had to be reasonably accessible and preferably a single day of travel away. And it had to provide a gateway to other travel opportunities.
Once we hit on Ecuador it ticked all the boxes and more. It’s a reasonably stable democracy with a centrist (possibly right) party presently in power. As I mentioned I’m old. As I also mentioned I’m sick of politics and opinions so I won’t share one here other than to say it’s a stable democracy. There is solid, very reasonably priced dental and health care. In fact it has become a destination for health care tourism. Great internet too so I can efficiently get rid of all social media. The climate is amazing. There is the coastal area, the sierra (Andes) and the Amazonia. The coast provides myriad beach towns and all the fun that entails. The Andes are spectacular and the elevation creates these little micro-climates all over the country. So a two or three hundred metre difference can have an immense impact on the weather of different areas just a short distance apart. And then there’s the freakin Amazon jungle. I’m a little embarrassed to say that prior to beginning this exercise I didn’t really know the Amazon basin encompasses half of Ecuador including a number of tributaries of the Amazon River. You can leave Ottawa in the morning and be in Quito in the evening and although it’s on the west coast of South America it’s the same damn time-zone. As you’re probably aware, the name Ecuador derives from equator and this means that the sun comes up at 6:30 in the morning and sets at 6:30 in the evening, 365 days a year. Quito is also a jumping off point to the rest of South America so travel opportunities abound.
Kinda sounds like paradise to me.
We’re hoping that something happens with the restriction and we can do an exploratory trip in May for a month and then we’re going to rent our place here for a year in November and do it. Now if the restriction is not lifted then the bad bedfellows come back into play because as it turns out you can board a plane in progressive ol’Canada without being vaccinated. The thing is that you just have to be a rich Canadian to do it. Rich Canadian’s must have a different physiology or biology from regular or poor folks or something because you don’t need to be vaccinated to board a private plane in Canada. I didn’t know it but I guess Covid can somehow tell how much money you have in the bank?
We’re not rich. We’re just regular schmucks. I’ve done a bit of research and it looks like we may be able to swing a seat on a private jet for somewhere between $5-10K. That’s fucking insane and will definitely rule out an exploratory venture but if the restriction’s still on as November draws near it may be an investment we’ll be willing to make.
The only real resource we’ve got is time and that seems to be depleting at an exponential rate and with bad bedfellows and guys like ol’Vlad around I don’t think we should wait.
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